Thursday, April 05, 2007

oh wells. one of those days after one of those horrible days. guess if u had to go a compliation and evaluation of the last 2 days, totally shitty man. sigh.

its like on wed, was really quite disappointed with myself la, my grades, my seemingly lack of urgency till last minute, my suayness at getting sick, my dumbness for under estimating the math paper, the low grade i got for econs despite studying my ass off, the dumbass 25/50 for my GP essay which was apparently too long [wth!] den took a look at the slo list, name wasnt there, not like it surprised me, but sort of sent the day on a downward spiral, maybe its pride la, couldnt believe how someone hu can talk and socialize like me not get in, but guess i have to accept it, if u dun produce results in training, u cant expect the coach to select u for the big matches, if not, ur lack of fitness is just gonna make u suffer even more on a long run. still cant help but feeling sore thou. so i sat at the concourse with cheuk, waiting for julie to go home. den it started raining. sheeesh and all of a sudden, weiming popped up and told me there was a gm, den i was like HUR theres gm, like no relay no nothing, and feeling darn lousy about everything, so just took a break that day, went home.

today, woke up with a 'i feeling like ponning school thought', somehow or rather, forced myself to get to school on a friggin cab when the lady seemed more interested in talking on the phone den getting me there on time, she got me there right in the nick of time man, the gate was like already 3/4 closed. cant stand people hu take no pride in their jobs. she was probably thinking, if hes late, just say sorry lo, he has to pay me anyway. den had pe, half dead during math, was attempting to study arenes during chem cus i already did my 3 questions on ionic compounds, thats like seriously the first time this year i did some form of work in advance or got prepared for tutorial man. made me sleep at 2am last night, was zombified by the time chem lecture started, ended up dozing off like every 20 mins. didnt feel totally satified with the council shirt, its like i m perfectionist and just got annoyed that the printing of the shirt was not done in the highest quality and the front had a weird overlap of black and white that was supposed to look way neater. interviewing people was tiring man, and can u imagine how horrible i feels when they take really long to answer u, kinda makes me wonder wad went thru the minds of my interviewers a year ago.

came home, tired, hoped on the comp, played fm all the way, moms been nagging. its like so i hate nagging and needless pressure without finding out the big picture. i hate structures that are set for me, hate stifling enviornments and i hate reporting to people wad i have studied cus i really dun think they need to know how much i study, and to me studying is all about reaching a point where u are satisfied with ur efforts and its really not about relentless mugging nor extended hours of trying to absorb information from a set of notes. to hell with parental pressure cus it friggin sucks!

|cowpoo| 11:34 PM|

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